| Jun. 26th, 2010 @ 01:36 pm Havent posted or read much here thepast week... |
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this past week I have been mostly reading the archives of my minister's blog, AWAC (used to stand for Afghanistan Without A Clue, now it means Agnostic With A Calling). Interesting to read and see how his thoughts and mentality changed, starting with training at Ft Sill before deploying to Afghanistan for a year, where he blogged every day. And then after he returned, trying to get back into the 'normal' mindset of being home, not having to put on body armor and carry a weapon every time he walks out his door, etc, finally progressing to his decision to go to seminary school and take on the role of lay minister of the UU church here in Tullahoma.
Here is his blog, if anyone is interested. He gets quite humorous at times, plus it offers a GREAT look into not only the life of the soldiers over there and the work they are doing, but also a look into the lives and living conditions and beliefs of their Afghan interpreters, and the members of the Afghan National Army that he was working with.
http://traversa.typepad.com/
Aside from that, just been busy doing school with EJ, trying to straighten up the house, and trying to occupy my brain. Been a tough couple weeks for me, slowly I am rising up a bit from the depressed hole I had been in, though still fairly low. Been getting frustrated easily, yelling at the kids all too readily, and just very very tired of everything. Part of this is due to the fact that i RARELY sleep well. Besides the fact that Connor still sleeps in my bed and we have a dog that sleeps in the bed with us, I just simply rarely sleep well. Many a night, I am awake until midnight or later, and awake by 7 or 8 in the morning. You may think that is a 'good' night's sleep, but keep in mind I am awake, tossing and turning, several times during the night. I often have bad dreams, or dreams that prey all to often upon things running through my mind while I am awake. if I take a sleeping pill to get to sleep faster and stay asleep longer, I end up 'sleep walking' in a sense. I have yet to GO anywhere in my sleep, but I will wake up and find myself sitting on the edge of my bed about to go somewhere, or one night i woke up lying flat on my back, arms up toward the ceiling, holding my wedding ring in my right hand and no sign of my diamond ring. I had taken them off in my sleep and i have no idea what my intentions were. So, do i not take a sleeping pill and have a bad night of sleep plagued with bad and disturbing dreams? or do I take a sleeping pill and do unknown things in my sleep, that may eventually cause harm to myself or someone else, whether intentionally or not.
ok, connor just decided to climb ontp my lap, so i will have to end this here. |
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