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About My Brain
Where we are at now
Friends Only Journal. Many brain explosions inside. Do not enter if you are easily offended or think that life is just a bit of roses. You have been warned in advance. Any violation of the rules I set aside, and you will be immediately evicted and banned. Thank you for your cooperation.
Jan. 1st, 2022 @ 10:38 pm Open, unlocked post for any and all to see
What is this?
if you are currently on my FL, and want off, go ahead an remove me. this doesnt just apply to now, but to always. I will even date this so it will be the first entry anyone sees when they look at my journal. I know some may be uncomfortable with what I talk about in my journal, or perhaps we had a butting of heads at some point that soured your perception of me, or whatever. Whatever the reason may be that you want off, feel free to de-friend me, no questions asked, I dont demand an explanation.

If you are someone who saw me elsewhere on livejournal/the internet, and you want on my friends list leave a comment simply saying how you found me, and chances are good I will add you back. Most entries are friends locked, mostly the ones that are personal to me or I dont want flaunted all over the intertubes.

if you want to know something, and are not comfortable saying what you want to in my journal, feel free to e-mail me at jkathy_26 at yahoo dot com
May. 31st, 2011 @ 06:32 pm GLEE Awards!
What is this?
In case y'all were not aware, tonight is the GLEE awards, hosted by Perez Hilton and CO-HOSTED by my good friend Josh Sussman (AKA Jacob Ben-Israel, AKA 'Jew Fro')! Tonight, 8/7c at the following website:

Apr. 28th, 2011 @ 01:10 pm Easier talking to a brick wall
What is this?
2 days ago, we signed a contract with EJ, stating (among other things) he will do what he is told without whining or throwing a fit. Today, I tell the boys to clean their room. EJ opts to play on his Wii, so I take the Wii remote away. then he opts to watch TV instead. When I unplugged the TV, he told me I am "being nasty". I reminded him of the contract he signed. Wound up having to take away a couple other things from him. (as he is worse than Connor in THAT regard). Had to sit back there yelling at Connor to get him moving because he will focus intently on one teeny tiny thing (like putting a single lincoln log away) and forget the world around him, so the only way to bring him back to Earth is shouting.

So, it has been around 3 hours since their task to clean began.. and they still are not done. they should have been done 2 hours ago! Dealing with these kids is like talking to a brick wall!!!

We survived yesterdays storms. power went out sometime after 5pm (like, 5:30?) and came back on around 11pm. When dealing with two small children, that is an eternity for EVERYONE! No damage here at the house, we havent looked up at the property yet.

Zoey is doing well, blending in great with the family. She sleeps in our bed every night. She and the cat get along great, she hasnt been having too many accidents in the house lately, so that is a plus. And she is very very sweet and loveable.
Apr. 21st, 2011 @ 09:21 am Writer's Block: Available: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with hot and cold running chills
What is this?
Would you live in the perfect house or apartment rent-free if you found out a brutal murder had taken place there and it was rumored to be haunted? Why or why not?

Well, sure. I mean, sad as it may seem, murders happen. If everyone refused to be anywhere where murders happened, there wouldn't be many places left to live/go. And as far as 'rumored to be haunted'... we have ghosts here, and you don't see me running away screaming LOL. we have ways of dealing with entities that wish to do harm, and we have no issues with the peaceful spirits that are all around us.
Apr. 8th, 2011 @ 10:02 am i MUST be crazy
What is this?
I am getting ready to go camping for 2 nights with my adorable little pests. We are going camping with the cub scouts, jim is staying home to get work done without the kids in the way. So, 2 nights with the kids, fishing and doing cub scout-y things.. then church on Sunday. yeah, i think i will be nuts by sunday morning....

(hang on, connor wants to say something:

hhj,dlkjgjdjnjbm ,bcjhnbm cvnbn nb jbjdhgfevfb b njhhjiiiiiiiijjjjjjjjjjjjjjojijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkoon nkhhjuhgggggkgjthgkjhgggggggggggggkkhggggggggggyhggggghjiojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjijiipujhhmmjljoioim8gi mmnghhjmium,koi,iooooooooooooooo4fgkkk,,,,,,,,,,,,kkkk,,kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkummojjeemkkkmm .mku bkmmmm,,mmmmmmmmmmnnoiuiiuiijujjjjjjjjjjjjjjujuojujjjujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujubjjjjjjjbgruiuhrgytyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgttygrgrtyruthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbtybybbvbbnffnoabccccccclkjhgfdsabmnujjjuugjtjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjuffgjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjujjjjjjjjjjhcxzsasqwertyuioppasqqqqqqqqqqqqasghygtgjjjjjjjju5ooooo-0oooo8oooooooooooooooooo00oooooolookooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofmommnbvcxzjhthhhgbhhhhhhhhhhhhhg)
Mar. 25th, 2011 @ 09:51 pm THE REBELLION: LEAVE THE SCAR!
What is this?
Jan. 23rd, 2011 @ 08:44 am Writer's Block: Hocus pocus
What is this?
If your parents were transformed into their true animal spirits, what animals would they be?

i am only doing this because it is cute...

OK,if my mom was still alive, she would probably be transformed into a panda, as they were her most fav animal of all- she had panda stuffed animals, a panda latch hook picture, panda wallpaper in her bedroom, panda bedsheets, pillow cases, etc, a panda painting hanging in the living room, and a dog we nicknamed "panda dog".

my dad- a cat, or maybe a sloth *snicker*
Jan. 14th, 2011 @ 09:27 pm Getting to know you meme
What is this?
Eh, why not?

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
Dec. 6th, 2010 @ 03:20 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Friday I broke wanderingdream's X-Box (-12 points). In April I put money in jkrtrialblog's expired parking meter (14 points). In July thingswrong and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In May I set clockworkblack's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Tuesday I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-1065 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
Nov. 18th, 2010 @ 06:07 pm small bit of an update
What is this?
Jim and i were discussing EJ's "behavior problems" at school (like telling a teacher to 'go away, i know how to do this!' for instance) and the fact that school is STILL just SO EASY for him. EJ said he IS bored in class, the work is so easy.. which REALLY explains to me why he has problems with always bouncing out of his seat in class. So we talked to EJ and asked him if he wants to keep going to school with Ms. Christy as a teacher, or does he want to do school at home again? we told him we do not want an immediate answer, to think about what would make him happier.

HE has been home sick for a week at this point. he and Connor still have coughs and stuffy noses from a month ago. last week took them to the doctor, both had an infection in their right ears. put on antibiotics and other meds, still werent showing ANY improvement so i took them back yesterday. Ear infections were worse (EJ now has a full blown DOUBLE ear infection. Again.) so changed antibiotics. I went to the school and picked up the work he has missed over the past week...

So just now, EJ was talking about wanting to go camping. He wants to go like, TONIGHT. I said we cant because he has that ear infection, plus if he is feeling better tomorrow he can go back to school. "The school up the street?" yep. "Oh. I'm still sick, I need to stay home" thats my boy!

got stuff from the Boy Scouts yesterday.. if you remember, I signed up to be the assistant den leader for EJ's cub scout den. Well, according to what was sent to me.. i am Cubmaster. eep!
Nov. 1st, 2010 @ 10:30 pm Writer's Block: Tales of Talladega
What is this?
From phantom cars to mysterious voices warning of danger, there are many legends surrounding Talladega Superspeedway - do you believe any of the tales?

Nah.. though it may explain some of Elliot Sadler's crashes there ;)

Oct. 22nd, 2010 @ 09:28 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
Been working on my cross stitching project.. usually a little bit every day. it is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss rememberance ribbon with a butterfly (i got it from rememberingourbabies.net i believe is the URL) it is taking me a bit of time, since every time i start workin on it, the kids start askin me for somethin, but i dont mind much. recently got a scroll frame to use for workin on the cross stitching, and i like it MUCH better than a hoop. Just need Jim to build me a stand to put the frame on.

tomorrow one of the guys from our church an his wife are doing something for Samhain, and I am going to go and check it out. I may not believe as they do, but i do enjoy seeing and experiencing other beliefs/religions. i just dont know what to make for the potluck.

kids have been sick with a cold all week. poor boys :\

we have 4 baby chicks. they are so adorable and tiny and awwww. they love being held and rubbed under the beak.

my brain is just all over the place, dont mind me...
Oct. 11th, 2010 @ 07:36 pm *grumble*
What is this?
OK, so for a month now, I have been working out just what to do for the memorial walk and candle lighting on friday. made sure to get the word out at church as well as making sure it got posted at www.october15th.com and on facebook.

last week, someone posts on the pregnancy and infant loss walks group asking for info on starting one up in murfreesboro (and i thought i was horrible, deciding a month before to do this, and someone wits until the WEEK before??) I reply saying i am doing one in tullahoma, would she like to just help with mine? she says sure, we discuss it a bit.. then she asks if i would be willing to change the location. ARGH! NO! it is already in the church newsletter and stuff and would just cause confusion!!

Doug (the minister) has made several announcements, plus made sure to send a few e-mails to the church list about the memorial walk, including to let me know if anyone plans to attend (so we can, you know, make sure we have enough food)

so far, the only confirmations i have are: doug and his wife, and someone else who contacted me. no other people from church (despite dog saying "even if you have not lost a child yourself, come out to support Katie, as she lost her daughter and is doing this to honor her daughter")

I mean, yeah, i get that 1 month is little time and all, but there are SOME people who live in this area, surely they could come out? they dont have to do the walk, they could come for the food/refreshments and the candle lighting!

*sighs* whatever. next year will be better

Also: If you have the name of a child you know who passed too soon (miscarriage, stillbirth, died from SIDS or birth defect, preemie who did not make it, etc) that you would like me to read and light a candle for, let me know. either here in comments, or e-mail me at tullahomamemorywalk@charter.net with name, birth date/whatever date is significant.
And if you are in the area or whatever and would like to come, it is at 5:00pm on friday, october 15 (that is when the walk will start) following the walk we will have food and refreshments, and then the candle lighting.
Oct. 2nd, 2010 @ 11:36 am I forgot a subject!
What is this?
tired. Been trying to keep busy.. church on sundays, çoffee discussion'on wednesday nights, i am assistant cub scout leader to EJ'd den, so i have leadership training that has to be done, and we will be organizing actual cub scout meetings soon. just trying to put myself out there and have a life outside the house.
Sep. 28th, 2010 @ 06:55 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
Been doing my best to keep myself busy. Church sunday mornings, planning the memorial walk for october 15... this week a 'discussion and reflections' group is starting at the church.. basically just an hour to get together over coffee or whatever and chat and discuss whatever. Also, registered Ej for cub scouts, so there was a meeting about that last night. 4 boys in EJ's grade, including EJ, were interested in starting a cub scout pack. So I am assistant den leader (one guy stepped up to be den leader, we needed an assistant, no one else was stepping up, so I said I;d do it. parents are strongly urged to be there anyhow, so it isnt a HUGE deal). so now i have to do a bunch of on-line training for this. we will have cub scout meetings thursday nights, but we have yet to decide how often or anything, as the leader and i both have all this trainign to get done on-line and everything.

Ej was sent home from school today because he has pink eye. didnt say a word to me about his eye bothering him before i took him to school, but within 10 minutes of school starting, the nurse was calling me to say he was complaining he could not see out of it and it was pink and puffy. oh goody *eye roll* and trying to get him to keeps his hands AWAY from his face is impossible, and he doesnt always wash his hands after touching his eye, so i get the VERY STRONG FEELING the pink-eye is goign to spread to the rest of us.
Sep. 11th, 2010 @ 04:35 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
I told EJ to clean up his pistachio shells. So what is he doing? trying to get the broom to fly. I try to explain that we are mere Muggles, NOT witches and wizards like Harry Potter. he focused on the 'Harry potter' portion. So now he is wearing his reading glasses, using a pencil for a wand, and trying to fly his broom.
I told him it will not work until the mess is cleaned up. So now he is pointing his 'wand' at the broom and trying to cast a spell to clean up the mess.
Sep. 8th, 2010 @ 10:08 am I forgot a subject!
What is this?
dawn schafer
Last night, I managed to get Connor to sleep IN HIS OWN BED! I have gotten so tired of the little bed hog taking up my sleeping space and crowding either Jim or I out of the bed. So, since he listens to his radio to go to sleep, I put his radio on his bed, scooped him up, and deposited him in HIS bed. Covered him up, and walked away. he made a face but soon fell asleep. HOORAY!!! maybe i wont get fought on this as badly as I expected!!
Sep. 8th, 2010 @ 06:54 am Thinkin and stuff...
What is this?
As October 15 is coming closer (October 15- National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day) I have been looking on-line hoping to find a memory walk happening close to me.. like, say, WITHIN THE STATE OF TENNESSEE!!!! No such luck there, the closest one is i Huntsville, AL. Which, while that isnt so bad of a drive and all, still... there are so many just in TN that are affected...

So, I have decided to organize our own walk. I think I have found a good place to have it (a BEAUTIFUL area with a 3 mile hiking trail. going to go check it out in person sometime soon). So now I need to:
-find out if I need to get any sort of special permits or anything
-need to decide on a start time
-inform local churches, hospitals, radio stations, and newspapers that it is happening
-order or make t-shirts
-figure out what to do about refreshments
-decide what the 'end' will be.

for the ending, I am thinking, not only lighting candles for each baby being remembered at this walk (babies of those attending and such), reading a list of the names of babies being remembered... but anything else? I am NOT releasing balloons... i will have to think hard on this...

I just know that this is something I *have* to do.. in honor of Kathryn, and all the other babies that have left this world too soon... I just hope I do not screw it up.
Aug. 31st, 2010 @ 10:12 am Writer's Block: Love is timeless
What is this?
What is your opinion of relationships where there is a significant age difference between partners?

Well, this is a dumb one. How would you THINK I feel, considering the age difference between my husband and I?

Just because there is an age gap between partners does not mean a maturity gap. As long as the people treat each other with love and respect, it should not matter whether there is 1 month, 1 year, 10 years, or 50 years between partners.

Jim and I love and respect each other very much, and do our best to communicate our wants and needs to each other. We absolutely adore our children, and would do anything in our power to make each other, and especially our children, happy. We may have arguments, we may not always agree with how the other person does things, but we are always willing to discuss our opinions and come to a mutual decision.
Aug. 8th, 2010 @ 06:16 pm no, i do NOT agree!!
What is this?
OK, our school district has a Code of Behavior and Discipline.. everyy parent gets a copy, and we are to read it and sign saying we have read it and understand it's contents, etc. However...

Looking through the school district's Code of Behavior and Discipline and i just do not agree with some of the things they have here...

per Tennessee law... any parent, guardian, or legal custodian having control of a child or children and who violates the provisions under the Tennessee Compulsory Attendance law commits a Class C misdemeanor. For each day the child or children have missed school without the proper excuse a parent may be fined fifty dollars ($50.00) or thirty (30) days in jail for each separate day of unexcused absence

So they could sentence me to 30 days in jail for each unexcused absence EJ has (should such occasion occur)??? That does not sit right with me.

Also, in the Disciplinary Sanctions section, we have:
Level II Misbehaviors: this is a misbehavior whose frequency or seriousness tends to disrupt the learning environment of the school. Included in this level are misbehaviors which do not represent a direct threat to the health and safety of others but whose educational consequences are serious enough to require corrective action on the part of the administrative personnel.
OK, understandable, but as an example of a 'Level 2 misbehavior' it has this:
use of tobacco- requires citation to Juvenile Court if less than eighteen (18) years of age

So, in 10 years or so, EJ takes up smoking let's say.. he is seen by a teacher/the principal smoking.. and they have to issue a citation to juvenile court? What if we (as his parents) are aware of the fact that he smokes and do not take issue with it?
And how does smoking have educational consequences???? or disrupt the learning environment of the school?
When i was in school, the rule was no smoking on school property. So, we would go stand on the street just beyond the school's property line to smoke. This was when I was 14. The vice principal saw me smoking more than once and would simply say 'no smoking on school property'. but under this school district's rules, had i been a student here, i would get a citation to Juvenile Court??

i dunno. am I in the wrong with being upset about these things?

not to mention i do not fully approve of their 'standard of dress' as it seems completely open for interpretation. I, as a parent, may not think something (like say, Spiderman) promotes violence, but a teacher may think Spiderman DOES, and so EJ could get in trouble for wearing a Spiderman t-shirt.

I dunno. am i over reacting? Is this NORMAL anymore??
Jun. 26th, 2010 @ 01:36 pm Havent posted or read much here thepast week...
What is this?
this past week I have been mostly reading the archives of my minister's blog, AWAC (used to stand for Afghanistan Without A Clue, now it means Agnostic With A Calling). Interesting to read and see how his thoughts and mentality changed, starting with training at Ft Sill before deploying to Afghanistan for a year, where he blogged every day. And then after he returned, trying to get back into the 'normal' mindset of being home, not having to put on body armor and carry a weapon every time he walks out his door, etc, finally progressing to his decision to go to seminary school and take on the role of lay minister of the UU church here in Tullahoma.
Here is his blog, if anyone is interested. He gets quite humorous at times, plus it offers a GREAT look into not only the life of the soldiers over there and the work they are doing, but also a look into the lives and living conditions and beliefs of their Afghan interpreters, and the members of the Afghan National Army that he was working with.

Aside from that, just been busy doing school with EJ, trying to straighten up the house, and trying to occupy my brain. Been a tough couple weeks for me, slowly I am rising up a bit from the depressed hole I had been in, though still fairly low. Been getting frustrated easily, yelling at the kids all too readily, and just very very tired of everything. Part of this is due to the fact that i RARELY sleep well. Besides the fact that Connor still sleeps in my bed and we have a dog that sleeps in the bed with us, I just simply rarely sleep well. Many a night, I am awake until midnight or later, and awake by 7 or 8 in the morning. You may think that is a 'good' night's sleep, but keep in mind I am awake, tossing and turning, several times during the night. I often have bad dreams, or dreams that prey all to often upon things running through my mind while I am awake. if I take a sleeping pill to get to sleep faster and stay asleep longer, I end up 'sleep walking' in a sense. I have yet to GO anywhere in my sleep, but I will wake up and find myself sitting on the edge of my bed about to go somewhere, or one night i woke up lying flat on my back, arms up toward the ceiling, holding my wedding ring in my right hand and no sign of my diamond ring. I had taken them off in my sleep and i have no idea what my intentions were. So, do i not take a sleeping pill and have a bad night of sleep plagued with bad and disturbing dreams? or do I take a sleeping pill and do unknown things in my sleep, that may eventually cause harm to myself or someone else, whether intentionally or not.

ok, connor just decided to climb ontp my lap, so i will have to end this here.
Jun. 19th, 2010 @ 06:21 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
Today is Kathryn's first "birthday". yeah... instead of throwing a party and getting lots of funny pictures of her, spoiling her with presents she would probably never play with.. I was "lucky" enough to go visit her grave. No need to spend money! Just spend a few hours draining myself dry crying and screaming about how it isnt fair. Begging to have her back. but what good did it do?

Why am I left to suffer when my baby girl gets taken from me, so close to me being able to hold her and love her and spoil her.. so close to meeting her and she gets stolen from me.. and I am left behind, to suffer the shredded broken heart.

This is the sort of thing that happens, and yet people actually BELIEVE in a "just" and "righteous" and "loving" God? how is it "loving" to take my baby girl from me, leaving me in pain? How is is "just" to have me suffer the pain I was in with my pregnancy.. my bad back, 50+ extra pounds, coudlnt hardly move without crying out in pain... I go through that for 9 months.. and just when I was about to achieve the prize, my baby got taken from me.. and that is "just"?

No. I simply cannot believe there is a God that can do this... and still be called just and loving, and worthy of worship and devotion.

So I have survived one year of misery and pain.. one year without my heart, my daughter. How many more years until i can join her?
Jun. 7th, 2010 @ 04:05 pm Writer's Block: A rose by any other name
What is this?
Do you like your birth name? If you had the opportunity to change it, would you? What new name would you choose?

Not really, seeing as my real first name is Janet. I got sick and tired of all the "Interplanet Janet"/"Janet from another Planet" jokes, as well as Rocky Horror fans shouting "DAMMIT! JANET!" at me as soon as they heard my name. It was funny when I was 12. By the time I was 19? Not as amusing. Plus, I feel that as I have grown and changed, i am no longer "Janet"- Janet was who I was when my mother died, Janet was who I was as I lived in the shit hole of a house with rotting garbage and rats. Janet was who I was in foster care- Janet was the person my aunt thought was better off in foster care, rather than taking in to her home. Janet was who I was as I tried to prove to my foster mother that I was not a trouble maker. Janet was the person that was never good enough to love.

So, ever since I was 19, i have been Katie. because I am *not* who I was 8, 12, 14 years ago. Katie is different. Katie is an adult, who wont take shit people try to give her. Katie is more willing to be herself, rather than feeling she has to CHANGE who she is to please everyone else. Very few people call me Janet- my father, my doctor (but not my counselor), and a few people who knew me before I changed my name.
Apr. 5th, 2010 @ 10:08 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
got a phone call today, from Southern Tennessee medical Center. they *ever so kindly* have decided to write off our debts to them! (from my time in the hospital June 16 and 18-19 2009, as well as from a stay Jim had there...) All I have to do is sign a form saying we will not sue them. isnt that just GREAT? [/sarcasm] yeah. Oh, and the person on the phone said "you haven't had any bad experience here, right? So..." probably going on to say 'so there is no reason not to sign the form' HA! not had any bad experience there, SURE. fuck. I dont need this shit...

My dad is still in the nursing home/rahab getting better. He was hoping to come home last week, but the doctor found an infection in one of the incisions, so he wont be coming home for at least another week or so. And he is MISERABLE there.

Still not in a good head space. don't know if I will ever be better mentally. Maybe I am just destined to be permanently fucked up. Never be able to look at babies, or unhappy seeing little girls playing... never be able to look at little girl clothes or funky fabrics, always thinking about the daughter that I SHOULD have, but was taken away from me.
Mar. 29th, 2010 @ 07:03 pm I forgot a subject!
What is this?
Well, EJ is now "Mr. Cool". Why, you may ask? Because yesterday he got his ear pierced! He had asked several times over the span of a year (usually a few months apart) and when he asked two days in a row, I said "you can if you want. Keep in mind it would hurt like a shot and you have to keep it clean. So I want you to really think about this" So he thought about it, and decided he wanted it done, so yesterday I took him and he got it pierced. He picked out his earring, and I sat him down. The lady cleaned his ear lobe, and then he started freaking out a little when she went to mark it with the pen (worrying about the pain of getting it pierced) I reminded him that just then, she was simply putting a dot on his ear.. he still was freaking out. I asked him if he had changed his mind, because it was OK to change your mind. "no! no! I want my ear pierced!" so i told him to look at me and squeeze my hands to put all his fear into me. he did, the lady marked his ear, and he went "hey, that didnt hurt!" Then she went to pierce it and I reminded him to look at me and squeeze my hands to put the pain and fear into me. he did, she pierced his ear, he cried saying it was too tight so they loosened it a little, and the tears stopped and he said "hey! that wasnt bad! can I look in a mirror?" and then he told everyone he saw that he got his ear pierced :) I love my boy!